Notes from Dr. Border

Journal Prompt: Make a list of negative beliefs you have about yourself. From the list in #1, are any of them true? Do you have proof to support them true or a lie? Take each belief about yourself from your list, and rewrite it as a positive belief. (Example: “I’m too stupid to make decisions for myself” becomes “I sometimes make mistakes, but I have made smart decisions for myself,” Include and example of this to support your new belief.) Here are some actions you can do to

Journal Prompt: Write about a situation where your feelings were not validated, you were blamed for being the problem, or you did not find resolution. What thoughts are you still having about this situation? What emotions are you still feeling about this situation? What did you want to have happen in this situation? What did you want the other person to do? How can you find closure for yourself about this situation? Can recognizing what is true about you, and the fact that th

Journal Prompt: Write about a stressful or traumatic situation that is on your mind. My example- My mother used to verbally abuse me. Her tirade would last from 15 to 30 minutes. I was always lying in my bed when she did this. She would be standing in the doorway of my room, with the hall light behind her, making her physical appearance a silhouette. I can’t describe specifically what she would say because I would block out her painful words, but words she used repeatedly we

Journal Prompt: How do you feel about yourself now? Can you describe your characteristics, wants, needs, or emotions? How do you feel in situations? Are you able to recognize different emotions in different situations? (Anger, sadness, joy, pride, etc…) Do you have feelings of emptiness, numbness, or a disconnect to the feelings you think you should have in a situation? (Not feeling joy when you should be happy, not feeling loved when someone says they love you, or not feeli

Journal Prompt: Thinking about a time when you are feeling stressed, anxious, or triggered by trauma, what is your mind thinking? (I’m stupid, I can’t do anything right, They are going to find out I’m bad, I can’t form healthy relationships…) What is happening in your body when you have these thoughts? (My chest has pressure, I feel sick to my stomach, my neck is tight…) What can I do to calm my mind and body in this moment? (Breathing techniques, journaling, yoga, visualizat

Journal Prompt: What happened to your roots? What do you acknowledge from your past that had a negative impact on your mental health through childhood? (Abuse, neglect, abandonment…) How did the things in #1 affect your trunk and branches? What do you accept as negative thoughts you have about yourself from your childhood? (Low self-esteem, depression, dysfunctional behaviors…) Based on the answers in #2, what coping behaviors do you accept on your apples? (Self-critism, bod

Journal Prompt: Make a list of all the things your ex did to hurt you. (Example: didn’t listen when I talked, didn’t show affection, didn’t help with the kids…) Describe the feelings you had because of how your ex treated you. (Example: I felt unlovable, I felt ignored, I felt like I wasn’t enough…) Write about the things you did to try to make the relationship better. (Example: I asked them to understand my needs, I asked them to go to counseling, I shut down my emotions and

Journal Prompt: 1. I have been blaming myself for __________. 2. At the time, I was a child who only knew how to survive by __________. 3. What I understand now that I couldn't understand then is __________. 4. Instead of punishing myself, I choose to tell myself __________. 5. I need to forgive myself for _______________ because I was doing what I knew to do to survive trauma.

Journal Prompt: What kinds of things do I worry about? Do my worrisome thoughts lead to anxious feelings in my body? Does my worry and anxiety lead to catastrophizing thoughts? How many of my worries, anxious thoughts, or catastrophizing has actually come true? Am I worrying, feeling anxious, or catastrophizing because I think I can’t handle situations or don’t have control over them? If so, what do I have control over and what qualities do I have to handle things? What was t

Journal Prompt: Describe a time in your past when you did something you didn’t want to do just to keep the other person happy. What boundary should you have set for yourself in that situation to express that you didn’t want to do that? What could you have said to that person to express that you didn’t want to do that, without overexplaining? If you are in a similar situation in the future, how can you be prepared to express your boundary without backing down? Practice some th

Journal Prompt: What messages did you internalize as a child from your parents? Do you feel like you are not good enough? Do you feel this in general as a human, or are there certain aspects you feel that you are not good enough at? Do you feel like you are too much? What are you too much of? Too talkative, too needy, too emotional, too annoying….. What messages or behaviors from your parents during childhood made you feel the things in question 2 and 3? Make a list of thing

Do we stay or do we go? Journal Prompt: After listening to the podcast, based on my definitions, decide if the relationship is unhealthy or toxic. In this relationship, do you feel heard, validated, and loved? Would you want someone you care about to be in a relationship with this person? When you have disagreements, do they hear your side of things and compromise on a solution where you are both happy? Do you withhold your voice for fear of their reaction? Does this person

Danish Bashir on Instagram Journal Prompt: Think about a situation where you were being abused or negatively treated by someone. Are these actions helping the abuser obtain their dopamine fix or fulfill their own mental needs of control? Or is it helping you get your fix? Now think about a positive experience with that person. What happened right before the good time? What happened right after? Was the abuser being genuinely kind, or was it love bombing or an action they used

Journal Prompt: Write about the loss you have experienced that you are struggling to move past. It doesn’t have to be details about the situation, but write more about your thoughts and feelings about what happened. From the writing in #1, make a list of feelings you have experienced? Do they align with the stages of grief? Give yourself permission to feel all the feelings, accept that they are normal, but now decide that you are going to work towards moving forward with crea

Journal Prompt: Where is a place you like to go that brings you peace? This could be a place as simple as your bedroom, backyard, or a far away place where you have traveled. If the place you are thinking of isn’t close by, what could you do to create a space in your home that reminds you of that place? When you create a space for yourself, include scents, colors, and textures that you like. Add music or another type of sound that helps you relax. When taking time to relax

Journal Prompt: Do you feel like you are mostly positive about things that happen in your life? Think about a time when you felt that things were going negatively. Now try to find one thing in that situation that was positive. Sometimes really crappy things happen in life. Do you think it is possible to find some positive in everything? Think of a time when you saw positive things happening. How did it make you feel? How can you change your focus to more positive things when

Journal Prompt: Step 1- Acknowledgement What forms of abuse did you experience as a child? What coping mechanisms or personality traits did you develop to cope with the trauma? Are these mechanisms or traits healthy? Step 2- Acceptance Make peace with the fact that you are a victim of trauma, but that you will become a survivor. Allow yourself whatever feelings you experience during this process. Sadness, anger, disappointment, and frustration are very common and normal. Acc

Journal Prompt- Do you feel that there are problems in your relationships? What problems do you recognize in your relationships? (Poor communication, lack of consideration, you do too much for the other person, you always feel frustrated with that person?) Did you experience these same problems with your parents as a child, or did you see your parents having these problems in their relationships? What traits do you think you learned from your parents that are affecting your r